Paperweight
by TLS Lyrics and Lemons Contest
Summary: Submission #31 for TLS Lyrics & Lemons O/S Contest


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**TLS Lyrics and Lemons Contest**

Song: Paperweight by Joshua Radin and Schuyler Fisk

**http : / / tinyurl . com / 6a8c2el**

Rating: M

Word Count: 1647

Pairing: Edward/Bella

Summary: Sometimes unrequited love really isn't so unrequited.

Disclaimer: I don't own Edward, or anything Twilight related. I also don't own the amazing voice of Schuyler Fisk or Joshua Radin. Quite frankly, my singing stinks.

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**Paperweight**

It's late, like _really _late. I've been up all night. Alice is inside, completely wasted, giggling and snuggling with Jasper.

I've been staring at her older brother Edward, all night. I wonder what he's thinking.

Edward is two years older than Alice and I. Up until about three years ago, when he moved to Chicago for college, we were all really close.

He's been back for a week. I've been trying to keep my distance, all the while dying to see him. He finally called me, telling me my ass better come over, or he would kidnap me. We're at his apartment, on the balcony. The night air is warm, but there's that warm, sticky, almost sun-shiny feeling. It's summer.

He's sitting across from me, slowly strumming his guitar. I'm trying really hard not to stare. Even in the moonlight, his green eyes shine bright. I try to distract myself. I count the stars and stare at the moon to see if it's still the same.

It is.

It's hard not to look at him; he's in front of me. In a white tank top and red shorts. He's barefoot, even his feet are pretty.

I hate feet.

I play with a string on my shorts, trying to decide if I want to find Alice or not.

Edward leans over, and takes a sip of his beer. He watches me as I watch him. I don't know if it's from the late night and how tired I am, but I don't even try to look away this time.

He smiles, and his foot nudges my leg. "Look at you, Itsa-bella. You're all ...drunk now." I used to hate that name. My brother Emmett was on my shit-list for the longest for even telling Edward about it, but I kinda started to love it. When he smiles like that though, he could really call me anything.

I ignore the drunk comment. He's really the drunk one.

My foot nudges him back, "I can't believe you're a college graduate. You're, like, old now."

He reaches out, catching my foot, smirking.

"I'm twenty five...that's hardly old."

I smile at him when he smiles back.

"Five more years, and you'll be thirty..." He tickles my foot, making me laugh.

"Edward, no. I'm going to pee on myself. Like, really." I kick and I squirm.

He finally stops, laughing with me.

I shrug. There were no guys, none of significance. No one could ever mean more to me than Edward Cullen...who just happens to think I'm his sister.

"_I love you, Bell." Four words I've wanted to hear since I could remember, but immediately, all excitement leaves my body._

"_..you're like a sister to me. I'll miss you Itsabella. Take care of yourself." _

_I nod, as he gets into Emmett's jeep. He'll be gone for the next three years._

He picks up my other foot, looking at both of them. Before I can say anything, he talks.

"Hmm amazing, you really don't have two left feet. Who woulda thunk it." He smirks, his crooked, beautiful smirk.

I grab a bottle cap, throwing it at him. I miss.

This makes him laugh harder. Before I know it, he's pulling my legs.

"C'mere." I raise an eyebrow, half wondering what he's up to. Half eager, I stand.

He pats next to him, and I sit, turning to face him. My legs on his lap. He puts them there.

He turns, and a strand of hair falls over his forehead.

His fingers are stroking my calves and soon they're higher- on my thighs, and I try not to think of it.

"Does Alice get the same awesome sisterly treatment as I'm getting right now?" I rush out. I immediately close my eyes, because I'm scared to look at him. This can get so bad. I'm not so drunk that I don't realize he's flirting with me; I know, I just don't know if he means it.

He's silent for a while, and when I finally open my eyes and look at him, he's staring at me. His eyes are serious, but then they soften.

"Do you remember that night I came over?" He's nervous, and I realize he's not as drunk as I thought he was.

I try to think back to all the times he came over. Most of the time it was for Emmett.

I raise my eyebrow.

"That time I climbed up the tree, and knocked on your window." He clarifies.

I nod, wondering where he's going with this. "You mean that time I almost pushed you out of the tree? That was so creepy…"

He ignores me, running his hands through his hair.

"All day I paced back and forth, trying to talk myself into asking you to meet me in our meadow…I was leaving the next day, and I needed to tell you…"

"You needed to tell me that my truck had a flat tire?" I ask, "At four in the morning?"

He lets out a laugh. "No, I needed to tell you had been all I thought about for the last two years…and would be all I thought about for the next three."

He moves so that he's leaning over me. He's so close.

"I freaked out. You were there, in Jake's t-shirt. I saw the pictures of you…I freaked out. I knew it would be a shitty thing- to tell you that I was in love with you while you had a boyfriend and then leave…All I wanted to do was kiss you"

I should be over the moon now; and I am...kind of. I want to write down every word he says. Tomorrow morning, I don't want to forget anything.

"So the next day you tell me you love me like a sister?"

"I was such a wuss."

"…I don't have a boyfriend now." I say, finally looking him in the eyes. His eyes meet mine; I feel his hand on my hip.

"No, you don't."

"I really want you to kiss me, now...but only if you want to. Don't fee…"

"Bella." He says, moving closer. "Shut up."

He kisses me, then. His lips are soft, and his hands are firm. It's nothing like I imagined; its better.

When he pulls away, he rests his forehead on mine.

"What are you thinking?" he asks, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"It's you. It's always been you-If you would have told me, how you felt; I think I would have said the same thing."

He kisses me again, and now he's on top of me. His weight is welcomed. He covers me like a blanket. A paperweight.

I pull away. "I don't know how you didn't know…"

I think back to all our moments, anything to do with him.

_It's his second year away, and it's Christmas. It's the first time I'll see him since he left. Alice calls me, before she picks me up._

"He's brought a girl with him."

_The girl in question has curly red hair, and grey eyes. Her name is Victoria. She's beautiful._

_When Alice and I get to the Cullen's, Edward is immediately there. He's hugging me and telling me how much he missed me. I let myself think for just a minute that he means it different than the way he tells Alice. _

"What about Victoria? You two were cozy together. You sure didn't seem to be thinking of me then."

"Victoria? We were only friends, She had just broken up with her boyfriend James- She wasn't going home. I asked her to come with me to try to cheer up, get her mind off of things…"

I raise my eyebrow at him.

"…and okay, I wanted to make you jealous…."

"Well, it worked." I nudge him with my feet.

He smiles at me, and I smile back. The atmosphere changes and the electricity between us that usually just hums is buzzing and screaming in my head.

Before I know it, he's sitting up, and then he grabs my hand.

He pulls me inside, kissing me the whole way. I don't know what this means, my brain is fuzzy with alcohol and feelings and Edward's kisses… his words.

".._mess up my bed with me_…" he says, laying me down. I smile at the lyrics he sings.

His hands are on me, and mine are on him. His hands are rough, his lips are soft. I breathe in as he breathes out. When he enters me, I've never felt anything like it before. Everyone else just blurs in comparison.

"I can't believe we've wasted all of this time." I say, when we're breathing heavy and his bed is _definitely _messed up. My hand is on his chest over his heart.

His arms go around my waist, pulling me closer.

That night, I fall in and out of sleep, hoping that in the morning there is no weirdness, and that he means it.

He wakes up, when I'm falling back to sleep. He strokes my cheek, my lips. I feel him shift, and then he's kissing my forehead.

"I love you." He whispers. "_No more wasting time_._"_

The next morning, when I wake up and he groans about the sunlight shining in his eyes, I laugh. When I try to get up, he pulls me down.

I think about fighting him, trying to do something nice, but honestly? I'm done fighting.

This time, I cover him and he hums in my ear, singing.

_Just happy to be here, just happy to know you_


End file.
